Tools, tips and education to help you live the life you choose

Son and Daughter went for a sleepover at a friends house at the weekend.  They have a son and daughter who are within a few weeks of being the same age as our two and the four of them get on well.  I went over to pick them up and as we were leaving one of them, I can’t remember which one now, picks up a snail and wants to take it home as a pet.

Last week they had wanted a frog which I found out you need a licence to keep some frogs so I was able to avoid that one, I don’t think it is the same situation for snails!  Anyway I managed to persuade them that they should leave the snail as we had plenty at home.  It had been raining and I had seen heaps when I got up in the morning.

When we got home I was talking to Him about something while the kids got reacquainted with the toys and Wii.  I heard Daughter outside singing as she moved around.  I didn’t really think about what she was doing until she appeared in the hallway with a bucket heading towards her room.  Now I have learnt from past experience that Daughter heading towards her room with buckets or other containers is worth investigating.  I call to her and she comes in and announces that she has found some snails.  I look in the bucket.  I have never seen so many snails in one place.

Son arrives at this point and is equally impressed.  ‘Why don’t they fall off?’ he asks as he picks one out and lets it crawl along his hand which he then turns upside down to check its grip.  At this point we put the foot down and ban the snails from the house apart from two which are allowed to stay in a cage thing in the laundry.  A short time later I find that Daughter has transferred the outside snails to a box with some food in it.

Daughter’s motives were kind hearted in that she just wanted to look after the snails and keep them happy.  She has a real nurturing side and likes to look after things.  In this case she couldn’t quite understand at first how she was actually smothering the snails, that her actions were not helping them by confining them.  This can be similar to our own relationships and getting the balance between smothering someone and letting them go enough so that they can continue to grow and still feel loved and cared for.  It can be a tough balance to find and it is something that is worth checking in with those you have relationships with to see how they feel – have you got the balance right?

As for the snails well later in the day I persuaded Daughter that she should really let the outside snails go.  While snails are not necessarily my favourite creature, allowing a slow mass death of them in Daughter’s box did not fit with my ideals.  She started to tip them out right at the bottom of the ramp off the verandah.  I suggested moving away from the walkway so they had more chance of survival.  This she agreed to as she stepped back and crushed one.

I thought that was the end of the saga until 5 minutes later when she appeared inside with a plea to keep Lucky.  ‘Who is Lucky?’ I ask as I turn around.  ‘The snail I stepped on.  She doesn’t have her shell anymore but she is still OK’!

I spent some time today with a friend in Adelaide.  She owns a couple of what I would call a flash boutique shops.  Now I should explain that for me clothes shopping is not a favourite activity and most of my clothes do not cost in the triple figures, that is over $100.  Looking round my friends shop while she served customers I didn’t see anything in my price range, it was all triple figure stuff and some lovely items.

I looked at the clothes to see what made them worth so much more and as I say there were some clothes that you certainly wouldn’t see in K Mart or Target.  They were well made out of some gorgeous materials.  As I spent time there listening and watching I realised that this was only part of the story of where the value lies.

Relationships and the little things are what makes the difference.  Go to K Mart or Target and it is all self service and neither of these things.  Go to some of the other boutique chains and you will start to get some assistance, depending on the shop.  You may get help in choosing the clothes and advice on what goes with what etc.

Now in my friends shop she has taken it one step further.  Most of the customers that come in are repeat business.  She often knows their size and preference in clothes.  She rings them when certain clothes come in to let them know.  She knows her stock and knows what is coming in so she can advise them to come back in a few weeks if they are looking for something particular.  She understands which customers need the time to browse, which ones need constant attention and so on.  Being a customer in her shop is a whole experience, you are looked after and valued.  It is no wonder that so many of them have been shopping there for years and keep coming back.

I think every one of us can learn from this.  We all provide service in some way at some time, whether it is part of our work or part of our family life.  You can cook a quick meal and slap it down on the table in front of the rest of the family or you could put some effort into the meal, remembering who likes what etc.  You could then serve it with a smile.  It is only a little thing, again it is building your relationships. 

In business this is essential to try and build up your repeat customers.  It is Napolean Hill’s ninth Law of Success – The Habit Of Doing More Than Paid For.  So think about your life and whether you are doing the little things to build the relationships that are important to you.