Tools, tips and education to help you live the life you choose

I guess the very first thing to stress here is that no one coach will suit everyone, that goes for sport as well as success coaching.  As mentioned in previous posts, success coaches believe in people and their potential, to be a good coach they need to be adept at getting people to tap into this potential.

Basic skills are listening, asking the right questions, knowing when to challenge or when to support and being unbiaised or impartial.  He or she should be able to build rapport with you quickly and effectively.

They should be objective, focussing on your goals and getting you there.  They should not be influenced by past history (yours or theirs), ego, or other agendas.  He or she should be there to support you, encouraging you to do more and get beyond any barriers you find stopping you.

Feedback is an important part of the coaching system.  You need to get information back on how you are going, just like the athlete who goes out there and tries a new technique.  They are there to keep you accountable, to help keep you on track, remind you of what you are committing to, helping you see your life in perspective.

Their style and methods for doing the above will vary from coach to coach and will also depend on their training.  In Australia there is no one recognised qualification for Life Coaching.  It is not like being a doctor where you have to have a certain degree, courses for Life Coaching can vary from a few days to a year.  My personal view, when I look at all those things above, is that a coach really needs a thorough understanding of themselves, their life and where they are going.  I think without this, it is difficult to help people, understand them and deal with them without bias or conflict.

For instance as part of my training with Beyond Success you are required to attend a number of bootcamps dealing with emotions, to give you the opportunity to deal with yours and understand others better.  You are required to be coached by one of the organisation’s master coaches and do the written coaching work that you later use with your own clients.  To my mind all of this puts you  in a place where you understand yourself and are capable of helping clients to set and achieve their goals.

One common question about coaches and coaching is about the background of a coach.  As you can see from the skills we have covered above there is no requirement for particular work experience prior to a life coaching career.  Many come from areas such as teaching, counselling, personal training and consulting.  Others, such as myself, come from a technical and corporate background.  It is not essential that your coach has some sort of background or knowledge of your profession to be able to coach you, having the qualities listed above and being able to ask the right questions is more important.

Having said that many coaches will specialise in some niche that resonates with them, it could be people leaving the military, older women dealing with life after divorce, or corporate employees.  With my experience I tend to look to coach those in business or in the corporate world, trying to balance work life commitments.  Having said that, I also successfully coach others from differing backgrounds.

So if you have read the last few blog posts on coaching and are thinking that this sounds like something for you then one of the obvious questions is ‘how much does it cost’.  To me this is a bit like asking ‘how much is a weeks holiday on the Gold Coast?’  It all depends is the answer, like the holiday does it include accommodation, flights, meals, massages, other activities and so on?  Similarly with coaching you can get someone you ring every few weeks or month and they provide a sound board, someone to keep you accountable and someone to talk about strategies.  Other organisations offer more comprehensive services.  For example with the services I offer there is phone calls, email support plus written material to support you and increase your learnings, in addition to my comprehensive training which allows me to assist you to removing any blockages to success you have.

I think the question is not so much how much does a coach cost, more a case of how much is the rest of your life worth to you?  What will work for you and give you the best value for money, it is your future you are investing in.

To find a good success coach ask around, look on the Internet and find someone you feel you can connect with.  It goes without saying that I reckon I would be a great place to start, it doesn’t matter where you are in the world, with the system I use I can effectively coach you, just drop me an email at nicky@toplinepublications.com if you want more information.  All selling aside, as with any good coach, I have a deep belief that we can all achieve more and I would like to see as many people as possible out there with life or success coaches realising their true potential so I am happy if I have inspired you to seek the services of a coach whether it is me or someone else.

We’ve looked at what Success or Life Coaching is, who uses it and the philosophy behind it.  I guess the obvious question now is how or what do you actually do when you are coached?

The answer to that varies depending on the coach and their model.  The simplest is the phone a friend type coaching where you speak to your coach at regular periods say fortnightly or monthly, they keep you accountable for tasks, and talk about what is happening in your life.  Some coaches will do face to face sessions or group sessions, either face to face or on the phone.

Some coaches, like myself, offer a more comprehensive system with ‘homework’ plus phone calls and email support.  The ‘homework’ I use is a system of modules from Beyond Success, produced as a result of over 25 years experience.  These cover everything from the basics of sorting out your values, goals and mission to most other areas in your life such as emotions, leadership and relationships.

My experience is that using ‘homework’ really helps clients get the most out of our relationship.  They get great learnings from the work, so much more than you can cover in a hours call. 

Many people start your work with a coach by working out where you are in life, what is important to you and where you want to go can give them much greater clarity in their day to day life.  You can make decisions more easily if you understand your values and goals and can think ‘if I do this is it in line with where I want to go in life and my values?’

You can also have a specific target that you want to work on with a coach, improving a certain area in your life or skill, for example improve a relationship, or your communication or assertiveness.  It is up to you what you want to focus on, it can be professional or personal or both, coaching is about you so it is up to you to decide.

Life with a Success Coach should be one of change as you take action.  It can be a little scary as you start to take focussed action, set goals and step out of your  comfort zone.Your life will never be the same again, positive change will happen, things that may have seemed impossible before will now become your reality.  Sound incredible, just talk to any Success or Life Coach who has been around for a while and they will be able to tell you stories of clients who have achieved great things (keeping the clients identity confidential of course).

So if this is what you want in your life then what are you waiting for – the next post.  Why?  Well in the next post I will be talking about what makes a good coach and how to find one!

I guess when you think of coaches the most common type that most people have come across and are familiar with are sport’s coaches.  If you look at any elite athlete or team you would be hard pressed to find one without a coach.  It is common to hear successful athletes thanking their coaches.  I have often seen in coaches’ offices at the Australian Institute of Sport framed pictures of an athlete winning gold somewhere with a thank you to their coach scrawled across the photo.

Athletes know that hard work and perseverence alone will not ensure the success they are after.  They need someone external to themselves to give them their best chance.

Similarly we have personal trainers, someone to help us maximise our fitness, to guide us and then push us to achieve.

You look at these and it is a natural progression to think of having a coach for your mind so to speak, to get you thinking right to achieve your potential.  As you go through life you pick up various beliefs and habits, some without even realising it.  You can easily end up in a bit of a rut, not entirely unhappy, just not realising the true potential you feel you have within.  Similar to reaching a certain level in sport and needing something or someone to help you go further.  In life this is where a success coach comes in and helps you find your passion in life, or what winning means for you when it comes to life.

So what is the philosophy behind life or success coaching.  In short, we believe that everyone has stores, and not just little ones, of untapped potential.  We can all achieve more than we are now.  As I mentioned in the last paragraph we have often picked up various beliefs along the way and these can hold us back in our efforts to move forward.  Your coach, if properly trained, can help you identify these and clear them.  As a coach we recognise that everyone is different, motivation will come from different sources, their skills and talents will be different, we are trained to recognise and celebrate these differences, to help you reach your potential whatever your situation.

So in short anyone can use a Success Coach.  If you feel you are not realising your true potential and want help to do so then he or she will help you.

(Again the photo is another of His sunset ones from our front verandah, I figured I might as well keep the them going for the Coaching posts.

Well it is difficult to boil it down into a one line definition.  A short definition could be someone who assists you to be the best you can be.  I like to say that I help people sort out what is success for them and then empower them to achieve it.

It’ll probably help if we look at what coaching is not.  Some people use the term interchangeably with things like consulting, counselling and mentoring.  Lets have a look at what each of these groups do, plus friends and see what is different.

Starting with consulting, this is where you pay someone to go out there, research a problem and come up with a solution.  Often that is the end of the line for them, they leave you to implement their solution.  As a coach I believe everyone has the solutions for their problems and the resources to solve them.  Coaching involves helping your client to find these solutions by asking questions and making suggestions.  We then stay around to assist and support your actions and changes you make.

Counsellors are all about problems too, the difference is they focus on recovery or healing a problem by looking at your past.  As a life or success coach we look at the present and making it better and how to shape your future, getting clarity on where you want to go.  We don’t need to resolve past issues to help you move forward, sort out your goals and then reach them.  Both coaches and counsellors use similar techniques and can work together if that suits you.

So what about mentoring.  A mentor is usually someone who is further ahead in your field of expertise.  For instance, in the corporate world it could be someone higher up the management chain.  They generally provide you with support and insights they have picked up along the way to help you in your chosen field.  A coach is there to assist you with finding answers to all your life situations, not just for a particular area of your life.

Have any of you got a good friend who seems just like a success coach we have been describing here?  It is amazing when you talk to people who are starting out as coaches how often they say their friends say to them that have been coaching all the time.  The thing to realise is that not everyone has these natural talents or the skills to deal with you in a non-judgmental way, to assist you with finding the answers in your life without giving you well meaning advice.

Ok, hopefully having looked at these four examples that should help you in getting some clarity on what success coaching is.  If you want to do any of the following then a life coach can help you:

• Get clarity on where you are going
• Set your goals and help you reach them
• Learn to think big
• Identify the things or blockages that might be holding you back
• Hold you accountable on our journey, support your successes and help you through any setbacks.
• Achieve more than than you ever thought you could.

So there it is, you should now have a great idea of what success coaching is and what it can do for you.  I prefer success coaching to life coaching because when it comes down to it I think that is what people are looking for.  As I said earlier it is a case of finding out what success is for you, is it just feeling happy every day, or achieving some level of financial or corporate stature.  Whatever it is coaching can help you get clarity on it and then achieve it.  Go for it!

(By the way if you are wondering about significance of the photo to coaching, there is none that I can think of, except that it is beautiful and gives you a good feeling – just like coaching can.  I was looking for images when He came in and suggested I use one of his sunset shots so there it is – sunset from our front verandah, taken by Him).